Lesson 15 Embodiment and Sensuality
Sensuality and Embodiment:
Every time we cleary communicate what we desire in our relationships we are repairing our relationship to our Self.
Every time we have sexual intimacy and feel more wholly expressed in our being it is repairing our relationship to our Self.
Every time we respect the needs of our body we are repairing our relationship to our Self.
Every time we do this for and with another we are helping them to do it for their Self too.
Much of our healing happens in right relationship to ourselves, others and our sensory world. Sensuality is our most powerful state. It is our aliveness. When we express and experience through our senses we are here for what we came for. We understood the assignment that was given to us along with our body in this sensory embodied plane.
Having healthy boundaries undergirded with clear consent, which yields trust, is key to secure and healthy sexual relating because it provides the container for playful spontaneity, also called -just being authentically yourself. However, until trust is built by first expressing our boundaries and preferences, we block intimacy that can only come from a mix of vulnerability, security and spontaneity. That is to say, keep it playful but always with consent honoured. Our current culture promotes egoïc sex which is tantamount to getting off by using each other which leads to the diminishing of the true sacred beauty of heart-centred sexual intimacy. If we truly understood the energetic bonds that are created with the sexual act we would revere it and honour it very differently. This sacred union is something that will contribute greatly to the healing of our shame-based wounds that affect the way we perceive our very own bodies and their worthiness to be loved as they are.
The fullness of our sexual and sensual experience is greatly influenced by our ability to take full ownership of our own desires in life and our desires in our intimate relationships. And also by our ability to recognize, acknowledge, communicate and express the things we are most afraid to share.
We experience attraction to the world through our senses. Our desire to relate is felt through desire for touch. Our bodies know that to be alive fully is to be in relationship with other bodies and with the sensory experiences offered by the world itself. Erotic love is defined as knowing oneself through the experience of another. However, it is important to not lose oneself in the process. Desire is not wrong. To lose oneself to desire is where issues begin to occur. This is where boundaries come in to play. Do you know what you desire? Do you know what you do not? If not, make a conscious effort to begin to explore what feels good for you. Pleasure is your birthright. If you do not prioritize it no one else will.
Ultimately, we are here to make love to life. We are here to love life and let it love us back. This will include a vast array of experiences here in our embodied state. Souls are waiting to get in to this plane to experience a body. We are lucky to be here for this! If one is a fully consensual adult who is able to understand the complexities and consequences of the actions they are taking, then the experiences are going to benefit them greatly even if they are not what was expected. This is how we transmute the "bad" to "good"; by learning our preferences and then expressing them. This requires experimentation, honesty and trust. A life of pleasure is a game of learning, expressing and acting on our boundaries relationally.
The Skin and Your Nervous System:
Your skin is your nervous system on the outside. In utero, the very first thing that forms at about 9 weeks gestation is a ribbon of the nervous system that eventually becomes your spinal chord nerves of your nervous system. This includes your spinal cord, your brainstem, that eventually becomes the brain.
What develops from those very same cells is the skin and no other organ is like this. The skin is developed from the same cells that are the nervous system.
Your skin is another version of your nervous system... it could be considered your nervous system on the outside.
So, whatever you are putting on your skin affects the nervous system. However you handle your skin through touch and bathing, even the clothes you wear, affects your nervous system. You can't separate these because one is an extension of the other.
We hug or touch someone else in order to help them feel better and it works because the skin is the nervous system. Both parties are receiving a benefit if it is invited with consent.
When you consider the implications of this it behooves us to be very conscious about what we put on our skin and how we care for our outer nervous system through touch and caress. Self care is sacred and essential. Our bodies love to be touched. This is how we show ourselves love and self-heal the "rejection wound" that is held deep within the tissues.
Recommendations:
Use only body care products that are organic and non-toxic. Helpful rule is that if it is edible it is safe for external use. Most products cross the skin barrier and enter the blood stream (transdermal). Some favourites are: castor oil (especially for hair, eyebrow and eyelash growth) also detoxifies the skin (castor oil packs PDF provided), almond oil, Egyptian Magic face cream, body oils by This Grand Voyage or Brie's Botanicals.
Practice dry skin brushing to move lymph (PDF included).
Epsom salt baths are wonderful for calming the nervous system.
Massage or self-massage (focus on the feet if you are short on time).
Face massage, gua sha and facials are great for releasing the tension we hold in our face and jaw.
Ear acupressure massage can target all the organ systems of the body connected to the ear, same with feet and hands.
Navel oiling therapy- place a drop of your favourite oil into the navel and massage it in at night. This is an ancient practice with many benefits. Different oils will provide different benefits.
One of the most beneficial things we can do for our health is to truly slow down and be mindful in experiencing this life with our senses. Eat slowly to really taste your food and follow the story arch of the flavours and textures as you take in each bite or sip, smell your surroundings/food/people and consciously take the world in in this primal way. See, feel, hear, touch, taste, devour and digest all of life's many sensation.
This is the gift of the body.
Our senses are the interface and boundaries between us and the sensorial world.
When we fully open up to and are present with these experiences we can be more at home in our bodies, secure and confident in how they relate to the world.