Excavating Your Subconscious Programmed Core Beliefs

Let’s reveal which core beliefs are blocking you from reaching your fullest and truest expression in life. (Some you will know immediately, others will continue to be uncovered as you dig deep in your subconscious).

Start by asking yourself these questions and writing your answers down in your journal:

What are 3 distinct, impactful or traumatic memories I have from early childhood to adolescence where I learned a life lesson by either observing or participating? Hint: If it comes up quickly it is begging to be explored. How did it make you feel? Does it still have an emotional charge? Really feel what your child-self felt i.e. my mom was really late picking me up from school, that made me feel really unwanted and abandoned OR, I saw my parents fighting, it made me feel scared and unsafe. You don’t have to limit yourself to 3 memories, you can do more as they arise whenever they arise. All memories are stories we have fashioned through fact, interpretation and beliefs. All stories present an opportunity for healing and choosing again.

Discovering the Core Negative Beliefs I Made Up About Myself

Now ask: What did I decide about myself based on these above stories/situations?

(Check all that apply)

I will never be enough.
It is not safe to be me.
I am always last or left out.
People always abandon me.
It is not safe for me to speak out.
I should have been a boy/girl.
No matter how hard I try, it’s never enough.
Life’s not fair to me.
It is not safe for me to be powerful/successful/wealthy/outgoing/attractive...
I am unworthy.
I don’t deserve to be...
I must obey or suffer consequences.
Others are more important than me.
I must be ________to be loved.
I am alone.
No one will love me.
I am unlovable.
No one is there for me.
There’s something fundamentally wrong with me.
I don’t belong.
I am not: smart, perfect, pretty, athletic, popular, funny, good, kind, quiet etc. enough. I must prove myself.
I must hide parts of myself to be accepted.
No one listens to me.
Other __________________________________________

Discovering My Core Beliefs About the World That I Inherited From Other Influences

What are some beliefs that were passed down to me by my family of origin, culture or other influences? Hint: it’s often based in a saying or figure of speech that you heard repeatedly i.e.; “money doesn't grow on trees”, “children should be seen and not heard”, “nothing good lasts forever”, “no pain, no gain”, "no good deed goes unpunished" etc. What core beliefs about the world did you take on due to repeatedly hearing those phrases? (List them all in your journal)

Discovering How These Influences Shape Your Adult Life

Now look for the common underlying themes or patterns that exist in your stories? What “lessons” do you see repeating in your relationships to others? What core beliefs that you have uncovered in the above exercises do you see are driving the interactions or experiences you have as an adult?

A word on deeply embedded core beliefs:

"Sometimes people hold a core belief that is very strong. When they are presented with evidence that works against that belief, the new evidence cannot be accepted. It would create a feeling that is extremely uncomfortable, called cognitive dissonance. And because it is so important to protect the core belief, they will rationalize, ignore and even deny anything that doesn't fit in with the core belief." ~ Franz Fanon

Cognitive dissonance: My core belief/set of core beliefs, is who I think I am. I cannot imagine what anything in my life would be like if I were to disregard or even challenge my belief-based identity. I feel any challenge to this identity is tantamount to death. This is terrifying to think of but what if, just what if, the core belief of identity is the prison that is keeping you from being free to be who you truly are and it is YOU who is holding the key to your freedom?

Ask yourself: Is it possible that my interpretations are wrong? What would it feel like if I could accept the possibility that there is another way of seeing this? How might I think and choose differently if I knew I was safe and supported to believe differently? What is the worst that could happen if I see a new possibility for my life? What has playing it safe been costing me? Write down your answers to this group of questions. Your cognitive dissonance is a function of ego which is attempting keep you safe by making you resist and avoid this scary part. This process to freedom requires your courage to look at and challenge your long-held beliefs. 

Before the truth can set you free, you need to recognize which lies have been holding you captive. Most people don’t want to uncover the truth because illusions are comfortable and familiar even if they are actually the cause of the pain. It is not just psychological but also an addiction to the neuro-chemicals that your receptors have become accustomed to receiving (AKA how you're used to feeling becomes so familiar that it's the preferred state). Be kind and supportive of your excavation process. This is courageous work and YOU ARE WORTH IT!!

Flip the Script

Now, take the old core beliefs that you have identified and write them down on the lines provided below. For each one ask; is it even true? Am I ready to let it go and choose a new belief? Am I ready to live my chosen belief into reality? WHAT DO I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE? Write the new chosen beliefs down on the lines provided below.

OLD PROGRAMMED CORE BELIEF: _______________________________________________________

NEW CHOSEN BELIEF:
I am/life is ____________________________________________________

OLD PROGRAMMED CORE BELIEF:

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NEW CHOSEN BELIEF:

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OLD PROGRAMMED CORE BELIEF:

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NEW CHOSEN BELIEF:

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OLD PROGRAMMED CORE BELIEF:

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NEW CHOSEN BELIEF:

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