AUTHENTIC CONNECTION 

The quality of your life can be measured by the quality of your relationships. Our human craving for connection never ceases, we need TRIBE. You cannot have great intimacy/connection you seek with another until you have it with your Self. If you don’t first have it with Self, your relationships will be various forms of attachments. When we seek attachment over authenticity we are choosing the herd over the tribe. We are choosing to lose ourself for the idea of safety, while killing our authentic Self and the connections she could make if she was willing to risk.

Are you willing to risk the perception of safety for the thrill of authenticity? 

Authentic relating and true connection begins with curiosity and compassion for self and others. Authentic relationship and connection is healing therapy for all involved. The more you surrender to loving and befriending yourself, the more you will contribute to authentic connections with other human beings. Your relationship to yourself is the most important relationship of your life and it is being played out in your relationships with others. That is to say; all relationships are with yourself through the reflection of another. The relationships in our life are reflections of our inner beliefs about ourselves and our worthiness. 

Now is a good time to re-evaluate the connections in your life and determine where access to your energy is needing to be either limited or invested. Practising good boundaries is a powerful way to self-honour and open yourself to more authentic expression, resulting in more sincere relating. 

So often in relationships we just settle. Much of the time it is for convenience or ease, or because we doubt better will come along and we believe it’s better than being alone. But when we fill the space with mediocre connections based on charity, a saviour complex or sense of duty, we may miss the amazing relationship connections trying to make their way to us. 

Authentic Relating Exercise:

For each relationship ask yourself: Where am I pretending in this relationship? Why do I feel I need to pretend? If I stopped pretending would this relationship survive? If I were completely myself, how would this person receive me? Will I choose to go on pretending or be authentic?

Then, make the choice of how much you truly want that person in your life and why, decide if you need to be more honest about who you are, leave this relationship behind or determine how much energy this relationship requires.